+ J. M. J. +
Things this priest thinks about...
Some time ago, I realized that sitting in the confessional, often on a Saturday morning, waiting for people to come reminded me of something... what was it? I realized it was just like sitting in my deerblind, all my senses attuned, hoping to hear a leaf rustle or a stick crack. And, then, often it would be a squirrel! Similarly, just when I would think someone was coming towards the confessional, I would realize it was just the building settling!
Well, recently, something like this happened again! We did a silent recessional during Advent at St. Al's and St. Anne's, a simple way to simplify the liturgy and create a sense of waiting and expectation during these preparatory seasons. Singing is very good, and so is silence! Frankly, during Advent, it didn't go so well! There was lots of rustling, lots of people who didn't realize what we were doing or why, and some people who were disgruntled about it! Discussing it with the team, I decided that we would try it again during Lent, but with more effort to explain and remind people of it. However, as we got started, it all just fell into place, and people have been really good about standing quietly in their places, with relatively little grabbing for jackets and purses and making noise! If fact, I have felt a very beautiful stillness and quiet during those moments after the blessing as I kiss the altar, and genuflect at the foot of the sanctuary, and then quietly follow the altar servers out. But, once again, it reminded me of something and I couldn't quite place it!
And, then, last Sunday, I placed it... that hush, that pause, that expectation... my own hope that nobody would make a break for it and spoil the moment... it reminded me of the scenes in movies where everybody's waiting in the ambush, or the attack, for the special signal! A trumpet, a flare, and then the tumult is unleashed! Oftentimes, someone will mess it up and jump the gun... or the general will say, "If anybody charges too early, I'll skewer them myself!" Or, from the Battle of New Orleans, "Ol' Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise if we held our squirrelgun fire till we looked 'em in the eyes..."
That's what it feels like as I'm processing out in the hush, hoping no one jumps the gun!
One time I didn't time it right with the closing hymn, and the final verse finished while I was still only halfway down the aisle, and I could feel everyone just pouring out of the pews behind me, and I thought to myself, "Ol' Ben, don't stumble now, or you'll be a goner!" I had the distinct impression I would be trampled down by the hoard!
+ A. M. D. G. +
This really is a great peek into your priestly heart. Forgive us Father we don't really know what we are doing to you sometimes. You are married to the Church. And after my 20 years of marriage to my beloved good husband James I can tell you that we just don't get you sometimes. Please tell us directly and quite simply what you want and expect and what and why your are doing what you are doing. Please especially make the effort to share with us what you are doing when it is different than last week. We will make up our own minds for your motives and such without asking you unless you tell us we are likely wrong in our assumptions. Again, let us know what you want of us and we will likely surprise you with how delighted we are to fulfill your expectations. I do hope that you don't mind my sharing this inside peek into the mind and heart of the bride. Forgive my boldness in speaking for all of us. If the communication doesn't happen it is likely that there will be missed opportunities and misconceptions about the relationship that will need to be brought out into the Light of Christ eventually. Be bold Father! We want to please you and assist you in service to our Lord! All for Him! Joyrunr
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